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Carl Schneider
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Director at Mediation Matters, a national training, service, and consultation organization in the US.

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IMI Certified Mediator
United States
Children, Civil, Divorce, Family
EQP - Experience Qualification Path (Historic)
Mediation Profile

Over the past 37 years, Carl has trained several thousand family mediators. Founder of Mediation Matters, Rockville, Maryland, Carl is a Licensed Clinical Marriage and Family Therapist (Maryland), Certified Mediator with the Maryland Council on Dispute Resolution and with the Supreme Court of Virginia, an Advanced Practitioner Member of the Association for Conflict Resolution (ACR) and an Advanced Mediator Member of the Academy of Professional Family Mediators (APFM). Carl is the former Director of the Divorce Mediation Service, a group practice of 16 mediators in the Chicago area. He has been a Registered Clinical Psychologist (Illinois),  on the Board of Directors of the national Academy of Family Mediators and has served on the editorial board of Mediation Quarterly. He holds his Ph.D. from Harvard University.

One of the early mediators in the field, Carl has trained several thousand mediators. He has been Director of mediation service organizations for forty-one years and Director of mediation training organizations for thirty-seven years. From 1981-1989, he was Director of the Divorce Mediation Service within the Lutheran General Health Care System in Park Ridge, Illinois, which was the major private-sector mediation group practice in the Chicago area with sixteen mediators on staff. A mediator since 1981, Dr. Schneider works in a wide variety of settings. He has been an Approved Mediator with the Frederick County Civil and Family Mediation Programs, the Howard County and Prince George's County Custody Mediation Programs and the Montgomery County Juvenile Dependency Mediation Program. He was an Associate with Business Mediation Associates (1996-1997), a member of the Civil Rights Mediation Program of the Attorney General's Office in the State of Vermont (1995-6), and a mediator with the Baltimore District Office of EEOC (1997-02). He served as a mediator with the United States Post Office's REDRESS mediation program, and is a mediator with the Department of Justice's Americans with Disabilities Act Mediation Program (1995-), and Montgomery County’s Office of Human Rights. He has done CINA (Child In Need of assistance) and TPR (Termination of Parental Rights mediations for the past decade.

My style was best expressed by Lon Fuller, the Harvard Law School professor, way back in 1971: "The central quality of mediation.../is/ its capacity to reorient the parties toward each other, not my imposing rules on them, but by helping them to achieve a new and shared perception of their relationship...." This is best achieved through story, and so I draw heavily on narrative mediation, and see mediation as a conversation in which my role is to enable, support, and lend hope to what is a difficult conversation for the parties. I co-mediate, working with a female partner as a team.

Carl’s primary area of practice is family and divorce mediation. This includes married and unmarried couples separating, child custody, post-decree issues, alimony and child support, and property settlement. Carl also mediates employment and business conflicts, including EEOC, civil rights, small businesses and partnership dissolutions issues.

Introductory session: $265/hr. On-going sessions, with a female partner, $330/hr.

Certified Mediator with the Maryland Council on Dispute Resolution, Certified Mediator, Supreme Court of Virginia, #1066 J & DR District Court Mediator Circuit Court - Family Mediator Advanced Practitioner Member of the Association for Conflict Resolution (ACR), #71922 Advanced Mediator Member of the Academy of Professional Family Mediators (APFM). Member, Association of Family & Conciliation Courts, Licensed Clinical Marriage and Family Therapist, State of Maryland, #LCM016.

Training and Education

1995 Director & Lead Trainer, Mediation Matters, a national training, consultation and service organization

1994-1995 Mediation Director, Woodbury Institute of Woodbury College, a national training program in family mediation, and Director, Mediation Program, Woodbury College, Montpelier, Vt.

1987-1994 Co-Director, Divorce Mediation Institute, a national training program in family mediation.

1979-1989 Senior Staff Pastoral Psychotherapist Parkside Pastoral Counseling Center A Member of Lutheran General Health Care System, Park Ridge, Illinois

1984-1987 Director, Divorce Mediation Institute, a joint educational and training venture of the Illinois School of Professional Psychology and the Lutheran General Health Care System

1984-1987 Adjunct Faculty, Illinois School of Professional Psychology

1981-1989 Director, Divorce Mediation Service, Parkside Pastoral Counseling Center Parkside Human Services Corp., A Member of the Lutheran General Health Care Systems, Park Ridge, Illinois.

1980-1981 Research Fellow, Parkside Pastoral Counseling Center 1980 Adjunct Professor, Chicago Theological Seminary

1978-1979 Visiting Associate Professor of Religious Studies, Department of Religious Studies, Indiana University

1973-1979 Assistant Professor of Religion and Personality, Meadville/Lombard Theological School

1976 Lecturer, Religion and Psychological Studies, The University of Chicago Divinity School

1976 Lecturer, Jane Addams School of Social Work, University of Illinois and Forest Hospital

1976 Academic Advisor, University Without Walls at Chicago State University

1975-1976 Lecturer, Institute of Adulthood and Department of Psychology, Northeastern Illinois University

1974-1975 Lecturer, Counseling Psychology, Antioch, Graduate School of Education, Antioch, New England

1973 Lecturer, Psychology, Schiller College

1972-1973 Lecturer, Group Leader, Pastoral Counselor, Westminster Pastoral Foundation

1969-1971 Teaching Fellow, Tutor, and Staff, General Education, Government, and Social Relations, Harvard University

  • Shame, Exposure and Privacy. New York: W. W. Norton & Co., 1992. (Originally published Boston: Beacon Press, 1977; pb. 1978).
  • ”What It Means to Be Sorry: The Power of Apology in Mediation” Mediation Quarterly, Vol. 17, Number 3 (Spring 2000), 265-280.
  • Schneider, Carl D. and O'Brien, Dana E., Ph.D., "Opportunities for Clarity, Understanding and Choice: The Practice of Divorce Mediation," in Susan H. McDaniel, Don-David Lusterman and, Carol Philpot, eds., Casebook for integrating Family Therapy: An Ecosystemic Approach. Washington, D.C.: American Psychological Association, 2001, 87-99.
  • "If One of Your Number Has a Dispute with Another": A New/Ancient Pastoral Paradigm and Praxis for Dealing with Conflict," in Pastoral Care and Social Conflict, edited by Pamela D. Couture and Rodney J. Hunter. Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1995. Chap. 15: pp. 209-219.
  • Foreword to Divorcing with Dignity: Mediation: The Sensible Alternative, by Tim Emerick-Cayton (Louisville: Westminster/John Knox Press, 1993). "Mediation/Conciliation," Essay in the Dictionary of Pastoral Care. Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1990.
  • "Shame," Essay in the Dictionary of Pastoral Care. Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1990.
  • "A Mature Sense of Shame," in The Many Faces of Shame, edited by Don L. Nathanson, M.D. New York: The Guilford Press, 1987, Chap. 6, pp. 194-213.
  • "A Commentary on the Activity of Writing Codes of Ethics," Mediation Quarterly, June 1985, Number 8, pp. 83-98.
  • "The End of Shame," an essay in a general issue on "The Challenge of Psychology to Faith," in Concilium: International Review of Theology (an international Catholic review of theology, published in German, English, Spanish, French, Italian, Dutch and Portuguese), edited by Steven Kepnes and David Tracy. New York: The Seabury Press, 1982.
  • "The Reddened Cheek: Nietzsche on Shame." Philosophy Today 21 (Spring 1977): 21-31.
  • "'A Warmer Way'" Divorce Mediation: An Innovative Professional Intervention to Facilitate Grief Work in the Divorce Process," in Re-Searching Death, (Lakewood, Ohio: Forum for Death Education and Counseling, 1986), pp. 49-60.
  • Forum Newsletter, Journal of the Forum for Death Education & Counseling, Guest editor, July and August 1985 issues, 8:5 & 6.
  • Issues devoted to professional intervention with divorcing families. Includes articles by Schneider on "`A Warmer Way': Divorce Mediation: An Innovative Professional Intervention to Facilitate Grief Work and Its Resolution in the Divorce Process," and "The Cumulative Losses of a Social Resolution: The Impact of Divorce on American Children, Families, and Society."


  • Staying with Conflict: A Strategic Approach to Ongoing Disputes, by Bernard Mayer, San Francisco: Jossey-Bass/Wiley, 2009.
  • Review in Family Court Review, October 2009, 47 (4), 737-738.
  • The Truth about Children and Divorce: Dealing with the Emotions So You and Your Children Can Thrive, by Robert E. Emery, Ph.D. Viking Penguin, 2004, 321 pages.
  • Review in ACResolution, Summer 2005, Vol. 4, #4, p5.
  • Review of Beyond Neutrality by Bernie Mayer, Ph.D., (Jossey-Bass, 2004) in ACResolution III #4 (Summer 2004), p. 7.
  • Review of Custody Chaos, Personal Peace: Sharing Custody with an Ex Who Drives You Crazy, by Jeffrey P. Wittmann, Ph.D. (New York: A Perigree Book, Penguin Putnam, Inc., 2001) in Family Mediation News. Spring 2002, 10-11.
  • "The Works of John Haynes," an essay review of John Haynes' books and videos, in Mediation News, Vol. 13, #4 (Winter, 1994), 12.
  • Review of The Handbook of Divorce Mediation by Lenard Marlow & S. Richard Sauber (New York: Plenum Press, l990), in Mediation News, Vol. 11 #2, (Spring 1992), 16-17.

The Maryland Standards of Conduct for Mediators, Arbitrators and Other AADR Practitioners.

Maryland Program for Mediation Excellence Mediation Ombuds Program.

Complete Equity Markets, Inc. $1,000,0090 Professional Liability and Personal Injury Coverage. $1,000,000 Defense Cost Coverage. $2,000,000 Aggregate Limit of Liability.

Carl Schneider
Mediation Matters
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